[Sharing. That's what they've been doing for the bulk of their time here. Sharing a room, sharing a bed, sharing chips and food and other necessities, and sharing information about the resort. Before he knew it, they were sharing just about everything. They really do live in their own "world of two."
Can they really invite other people into that private little world...?
It's hard to decide whether he's open to it or not. In truth, he feels conflicted. He considers it a "lesser evil" compared to playing the game normally, but is there any part of him that truly wants this?
There might be. Deep down inside him, there might be some small, secret part of himself that finds the whole idea intriguing. It's the performer in him: the part of him that likes being seen as sexy and desirable. The part that craves attention, and loves to feel people's eyes on him, watching with adulation. But "that" sort of performance would end his idol career, and he's also just plain embarrassed to admit to those desires, so he hasn't looked at them too closely.
Regardless, he still has reservations, and the most significant would be Jun's reaction. If Jun doesn't want to do this, then that's that; he refuses to sour their relationship and make his partner uncomfortable. He doesn't want Jun to "suck it up and deal." When Jun uses that phrasing, it grates on him, striking him as wrong. He almost scolds Jun for it, almost tells him he shouldn't be sucking it up and dealing with something like that. But then Jun clarifies, saying that he's not on board, but he's willing to listen—that's it, that's all he meant—so Hiyori can relax.
A little, anyway. Not a lot. They are still in the midst of an embarrassing, nerve-wracking conversation about their intimate life. Still, he gives a short nod in response to Jun's words.]
Mm. You've always been good about heeding my "unreasonable requests," but I'd never decide something like that on my own.
[If they do this, it'll be a decision they make together. That's how it is, and that's how it should be.
He's still not sure they should do it. As he sits there facing Jun, who's already voiced his reaction, and who's looking to him for guidance, he can't help but feel uneasy. What exactly is the right decision? They've been placed in such a ridiculous and unfair situation that he's just not sure. But if they did do this, even hypothetically... well. He has a few ideas about how to make things more bearable.
He takes a breath and begins.]
Neither of us wants to "share." Which makes sense, because Jun-kun and I belong to each other! But, well, if we did do something like that in front of someone else... instead of "sharing," maybe we could see it as "declaring ownership."
[His cheeks color a bit more. He holds up his free hand, waving a finger in the air as he makes his point.]
For example, if Jun-kun left a bitemark on me while someone else watched, it'd be sort of like he's saying, "Hiyori Tomoe is mine. That dazzling existence is mine alone, and you can't ever have him. You can look, but you can't touch, because that's my job!"
[After he finishes, his cheeks growing steadily redder, his eyes watching Jun for a reaction. This is another reason this conversation is so difficult: he's afraid of giving away too many of his own desires. He's embarrassed by them, and he's afraid of weirding out Jun! Which is why he rushes to clarify,]
That was just an example. I'm not saying you should do that. But there's also another thing I thought of...
[He pauses again, and then admits:]
When I'm with Jun-kun, I start to loose control of myself. My head goes all mushy, and it feels like I'm floating away somewhere. It's sort of embarrassing, but Jun-kun said he likes seeing that side of me, so I don't mind showing it to him!
[He declares this confidently, despite the persistent blush on his face.]
I'm not too keen on showing it to someone else, though. So I wonder if it might be easier to treat it like a play. I'm not saying we should fake anything. But if we had roles we were acting out, then it might feel more like the kind of performances we're used to. Like if Jun-kun was a sailor and I was a mermaid, as one example, and we acted out a love scene, then...
[He trails off, his blush deepening yet again, and he clears his throat before he finishes:]
But that's just one idea! And it's still all hypothetical.
[Now for another, lengthier pause, before he peeks at his partner and asks:]
no subject
[(Yes he does.)]
But fine, we can share them! ♪
[Sharing. That's what they've been doing for the bulk of their time here. Sharing a room, sharing a bed, sharing chips and food and other necessities, and sharing information about the resort. Before he knew it, they were sharing just about everything. They really do live in their own "world of two."
Can they really invite other people into that private little world...?
It's hard to decide whether he's open to it or not. In truth, he feels conflicted. He considers it a "lesser evil" compared to playing the game normally, but is there any part of him that truly wants this?
There might be. Deep down inside him, there might be some small, secret part of himself that finds the whole idea intriguing. It's the performer in him: the part of him that likes being seen as sexy and desirable. The part that craves attention, and loves to feel people's eyes on him, watching with adulation. But "that" sort of performance would end his idol career, and he's also just plain embarrassed to admit to those desires, so he hasn't looked at them too closely.
Regardless, he still has reservations, and the most significant would be Jun's reaction. If Jun doesn't want to do this, then that's that; he refuses to sour their relationship and make his partner uncomfortable. He doesn't want Jun to "suck it up and deal." When Jun uses that phrasing, it grates on him, striking him as wrong. He almost scolds Jun for it, almost tells him he shouldn't be sucking it up and dealing with something like that. But then Jun clarifies, saying that he's not on board, but he's willing to listen—that's it, that's all he meant—so Hiyori can relax.
A little, anyway. Not a lot. They are still in the midst of an embarrassing, nerve-wracking conversation about their intimate life. Still, he gives a short nod in response to Jun's words.]
Mm. You've always been good about heeding my "unreasonable requests," but I'd never decide something like that on my own.
[If they do this, it'll be a decision they make together. That's how it is, and that's how it should be.
He's still not sure they should do it. As he sits there facing Jun, who's already voiced his reaction, and who's looking to him for guidance, he can't help but feel uneasy. What exactly is the right decision? They've been placed in such a ridiculous and unfair situation that he's just not sure. But if they did do this, even hypothetically... well. He has a few ideas about how to make things more bearable.
He takes a breath and begins.]
Neither of us wants to "share." Which makes sense, because Jun-kun and I belong to each other! But, well, if we did do something like that in front of someone else... instead of "sharing," maybe we could see it as "declaring ownership."
[His cheeks color a bit more. He holds up his free hand, waving a finger in the air as he makes his point.]
For example, if Jun-kun left a bitemark on me while someone else watched, it'd be sort of like he's saying, "Hiyori Tomoe is mine. That dazzling existence is mine alone, and you can't ever have him. You can look, but you can't touch, because that's my job!"
[After he finishes, his cheeks growing steadily redder, his eyes watching Jun for a reaction. This is another reason this conversation is so difficult: he's afraid of giving away too many of his own desires. He's embarrassed by them, and he's afraid of weirding out Jun! Which is why he rushes to clarify,]
That was just an example. I'm not saying you should do that. But there's also another thing I thought of...
[He pauses again, and then admits:]
When I'm with Jun-kun, I start to loose control of myself. My head goes all mushy, and it feels like I'm floating away somewhere. It's sort of embarrassing, but Jun-kun said he likes seeing that side of me, so I don't mind showing it to him!
[He declares this confidently, despite the persistent blush on his face.]
I'm not too keen on showing it to someone else, though. So I wonder if it might be easier to treat it like a play. I'm not saying we should fake anything. But if we had roles we were acting out, then it might feel more like the kind of performances we're used to. Like if Jun-kun was a sailor and I was a mermaid, as one example, and we acted out a love scene, then...
[He trails off, his blush deepening yet again, and he clears his throat before he finishes:]
But that's just one idea! And it's still all hypothetical.
[Now for another, lengthier pause, before he peeks at his partner and asks:]
... what does Jun-kun think?